Austin Otaku

whats it like to date a porn star?

What’s it like dating anyone? … Seriously, it’s not like porn stars are a different species of animal. They’re human beings just like the rest of us, and so, dating a porn star is like dating any other human being. We have our moments of tender affection and moments in which we argue. When we have time together (it’s a long-distance relationship), we go out to eat, see movies, go shopping, talk over coffee, snuggle on the couch, etc. When we’re apart, we talk on the phone, chat on IM, Skype, or text each other.

We talked about her career/dreams prior to her getting into porn, and I decided that I wasn’t going to be the person in her life that said, “You can’t live your dream!” There are enough of us corporate slaves out there in the world who gave up their dreams for financial security, familial obligations, “moral” objections, or whatever. Look in the eyes people who have done that. Do you see happiness? Fulfillment? Peace? We have a nation mostly populated with people who wish they’d followed their dreams. Gods bless the small percentage of the population who did.

Of course, we’ve only been dating for just over 5 months now, and who knows where the relationship will go from here? Whether she and I keep on dating or not, I’ll stand behind her 100%. Either way, I’ve really grown to appreciate her deepest qualities as a human … not a porn star. She doesn’t let me get away with much of the bullshit I’ve learned working in corporate America. She forces me to question why I say certain things, and she forces me to stand up for myself, which I’ve never been good at. There’s a freedom about her life that any corporate slave would be jealous of, and she’s been a good influence on me in that respect. I can only hope that I’ve been as good for her as she has been for me.

I don’t know. Maybe you were looking for some erotic, titillating answer to your question. I’m not going to get into our intimate life. Are there unique challenges to dating someone whose career is to have sex with other people on camera? Of course there are. It requires an incredible amount of trust, and communication is key. But once that trust is established, it’s relatively smooth sailing from there. It’s very much like any other relationship. If we fail to work out, it won’t be because of her career choice. If we succeed and stay together forever, it’ll be because we did the work that all relationships require.

Another thing that I’ve really had to come to peace with is the way certain people look down on her. … But, she’s really a lot more mature about that sort of thing than I am, and she doesn’t let it bother her. We have a very odd culture when it comes to porn. We consume it at an incredible rate. To illustrate this point, in 2006, the porn industry generated over $97 BILLION in revenue. By comparison, the movie industry only generated about $10 billion dollars in 2009. Let’s face it: we’re turned on by it, but we don’t want anyone to know. And then after the post-masturbatory shame settles in, we suddenly want to villify the industry and the people in it. It’s pretty hypocritical if you ask me.

Ask me anything